Are Good Mates Hard To Find Offline?
In the world of technology today, you have access to almost everything right in the palm of your hands. That’s exactly why no one leaves home without their cell phone. It’s our main source of communication. If you’re headed to work and realize you don’t have your phone, 99.9% of the time you would turn your car allllll the way around to go get it. One would rather be late for work than to be stuck for hours without it. Needless to say, social media captures the mind of millions daily; especially online dating sites. What’s crazy is the internet is how I met my husband. What’s even crazier is the fact that we met in person 4 days after we connected. Many times I have asked myself “WHAT IN THE WORLD was I thinking?”! So here’s the cute story of How I Married A Man I Met Online.
First, let me tell you about AOL (the site we met on). Unlike all these sites where you can see unlimited, over-the-top, unnecessary selfies (lol); in 2001 we couldn’t see anyone’s picture. After chatting in a box (running game) for a good amount of time, the conversation had to be good enough for one to ask for a picture. Because if you wanted to see them, they had to send it directly to you. Convincing the stranger behind the big squared computer screen to send one, took a lot of courage.
Confidence was a must, rejection was real. Especially if you sent a picture first and they never sent one back! Nor typed you ever in life again! Now that said a lot, without saying because it meant they weren’t interested. When I sent my picture first, I received some pictures of some tender to the eye folks. To fix that, I made up a rule that I was never going to send anyone my pictures first again. So I’m definitely guilty of responding S2R (Send To Receive) when someone would ask me to send a picture. Then after seeing their picture and realizing they weren’t my type, I never responded in life again! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ #Teenagers
Ok ok, you’ve waited long enough, pull up a chair and let me tell you how our computer LoVe began! I was a 17-year-old Senior at Redford High School, with only a few months to go before Prom and Graduation. My brother was always on the Internet, tying up the phone lines. I often wondered what intrigued him for hours upon hours staring into that bright screen. One day he wanted to make me an AOL page. Although my friends had pages, I really didn’t care if I had one or not. Especially since I saw them at school anyway. In as much, I figured I’d try anything once, it would be interesting to communicate with them online. He told me to make up a screen name and taught me the basics.
Back then, computers weren’t as popular as they are now. They were also slower. We had to wait on AOL dial-up (<– click for an example) and believe me when I tell you, this process seemed like it took foreverrrr. Plus we got kicked off and had to start over if someone kept calling the house phone or if one of your sneaky siblings unplugged the landline (like my brother). You had to have patience. Sometimes it wasn’t even worth it. Many times I gave up because it was to slow.
I got familiar with AOL and met a few new friends online. The most fun I had was entering a chat room with people from around my city. We talked about everything to nothing. My classmates and I would talk junk to rival schools and more. The site had many Chat Rooms to choose from, but the most popular one (to me) was the Detroit Chat Room, which could hold up to about 23 people and you could only enter when someone would exit (since it was ALWAYS full). However, when you finally made it in, you felt like you accomplished something major. In a small box on the side of the room held a list of everyone’s screen name so you can see who all was in the room. My LoVe for computers began and I realized why my brother LoVed logging in.
Stepping outside of the box
On March 23, I was online typing about 4 of my friends in separate AIM chat boxes (having 1-on-1 conversations), when a box popped up. It was an unfamiliar name. He found me in the small box of names seen in the Popular Chat Room, even though I wasn’t engaging in their broad conversations. He asked, “A what does your name mean?” My screen name was NonOthaLykMe (None-Other-Like-Me). At first, I ignored the question then after a few minutes I decided to respond “Just what it says, it’s none like me!” Then he asked, “What’s different about you?” I x’d the box out, then it popped back up with him asking “A/S/L/R (Age, Sex, Location, Race)”. I decided to reply 17/Female/Detroit/Black and for some reason after replying, I closed his chat box again. Honestly, I didn’t care if he responded or not.
However, he continued typing and I asked him for his A/S/L/R. We communicated for a while and I realized he had game. By the end of the night, he thought we should talk over the phone. We exchanged fake names and I took his number. I didn’t call that night because I didn’t want to seem like a thirst bucket so I waited until the next day. Feeling giddy, I dialed *67 (to block my number on his caller id) and called him. Then we shared a great conversation. The funny thing is I was so caught up in our conversation, I mistakenly gave my real name away when I was sharing a story. His response was priceless. He said, “Ohh so that’s your real name! No worries I gave you the wrong name to. My name is Dre.” We laughed and talked the night away.
S2R (Send to Receive)
The next time we chat, he asked me to, “Send a picture.” I hit him with S2R like I did everyone else. He said, “I don’t know how to send it yet. I have to ask my brother since he just taught me how to use the internet.” Omg, I thought to myself, wow we have something in common. My brother had just taught me how to use the internet as well as send pictures. Wondering if that was a lie, I was determined not to fall for it; so I stood my ground for a little bit and then I caved and broke my own rule. He seem like he was different.
I felt like I had learned a lot about this young man from the east side of Detroit, who went to Perfecting Church every week and was the same age/grade as I was. I sent him a picture first. The professional kind of school picture, where Motown Portraits would come to your school with different backdrops/props and give you your best shot. I was looking cute as ever in my grey and white Guess outfit. Needless to say, after he saw it he was excited and ready to go out on a date right away. He told me to bring my license though because my voice sounded young. But I wasn’t ready yet, I still needed a picture of the face behind the computer screen and the voice coming from inside the house phone.
Finally! Is He Hot Or Not?
The next day, he made sure he figured it out and sent me pictures. AND BEHOLD… This dreamy, chocolate, handsome young man with all of his perfect teeth almost had me drooling. He sent me “ALL” of his senior pictures! I had a view of every look I needed. I saw a picture of him in a black Pelle Pelle Leather coat, cool street clothes with clean gym shoes, a picture with him and his friends and one with him in a purple/white suit. He was eye candy. Ooh wee I was glad I responded and sent him my picture at that moment. Prom was 3 months away and I knew he would look good on my arm. Plus, I like the fact that he looked tall, just what I needed; someone who would be taller than me in my heels for prom. #TeenagerThoughts
I Ain’t Never Scared! What?
Not only was he fine, this new guy Dre was bold and had a great personality. The following day he asked, “When are you going to let me take you out?” I told him when he asked my mom. Some guys were to scared to ask my parents so I didn’t care to go out with them. But not this guy, he was fearless. He said, “Ok bet, put her on the phone”. I remember it like it was yesterday. My mom was sitting on the couch in the basement not to far from me. I passed her the long corded house phone and she said, “Who is this that has my daughter smiling like this” (I was Chucke Cheesing). He said “This is Andre, how are you doing Mrs.? Can I take your daughter out this weekend?”
Impatiently waiting for her response, my eyes protruded out of my head as my heart beat fast until I finally heard her say the word “Yes”. Then she asked, “Where do you plan on taking her?” He replied, “To the movies”. I was speechless. He surpassed all the scary guys without courage or a car who couldn’t ask, nor take me out. She also told him he had to talk to my father etc. At that time my mom thought she met him since she met many of my good guy friends. My siblings and I were allowed to have friends of the opposite sex over when they were home or if they weren’t we had to sit out on the porch. My parents didn’t play. I thought to myself the boldness of this dude! And so it was on…
First Date Jitters
First dates are interesting, especially if you’ve never seen the actual person in person. Feeling nervous was an understatement. I had all the signs not to go out on a date with him but I ignored them all. I was bloated, started my cycle, my hair poofed up from the humidity outside, my sister started on my nails and only finished one hand and the list goes on. But I figured I would hide my unfinished hand and do something I’ve never done before. Date somene online, offline.
We met at the Citgo gas station off Grand River on Stahelin in Detroit. I was sitting in my uncle’s big white Lincoln car with my cousin Prince and my sister. He pulled up in his light blue and white 85’ Jimmy truck and went inside for something. We were scoping him out, seeing if he looked nice in person or I definitely wasn’t getting out of the car. My sister went inside to act like me and see what he was about. But he didn’t phase her, he smiled and kept it moving (she was dressed horribly). Then she gave up and said, “NAKIA in the car!” I got out of the car to go get into his and she yelled, “Don’t go with him! He can be a murderer stupid!” But I was a senior and she was a sophomore so she couldn’t tell me anything!
Embarassing Ice Breaker
Anywhoo we went to the Star Theatre in Southfield. As we got out of his car, it started to roll because the parking handle had a missing screw. He had to run back to hop in the car and pull the parking break up. We laughed and I showed him my unfinished hand of nails so the ice was officially broken. I wouldn’t let him be embarrassed alone or maybe we were just too young to really care that much about minor stuff. We had a good time. We saw the movie “Exit Wounds” and he took me home afterward. Needless to say, that was the first date to many, we went to each other’s Prom and the rest is history. We’ve been together ever since. I married a man I met online over 14 years ago in 2005 and we’ve been together for over 18 years.
What I Would Do Differently?
If I could do it all over again, I would definitely do things differently; Even though our story would slightly change. As an adult, I realize I didn’t know jack diddly squat as a teenager (thinking I knew everything). It could’ve been bad if I were in the wrong hands. My parents would’ve been devastated because they taught us not to talk nor ride with strangers. I told my parents how we met about 2 years into our relationship. Of course, my mom was floored, like “What?!! OH MY GOSH! Girl, I wouldn’t have let you go with him, you could’ve been killed, what were you thinking? Why would you do that? etc.” and she was absolutely right! In as much so, she already LoVed him so she quickly calmed down.
On the other hand, if we crossed paths in public, who knows if we would have conversed. He told me if we were in public he wouldn’t have talked to me. He was handsome and used to girls always coming up to him. I told him I’m old school bruh so I would never approach a guy. If someone was interested in me, they would have to approach me. At that moment, we knew it was a God thing. But looking back, I would take proper “Internet Safety Precautions”. So when it comes to online dating, follow these “Top 10 Internet Dating Safety Tips” and Please BE CAREFUL!
Is Internet Dating Safe?
Back then, I asked myself is internet dating safe? However, I hate the fact that I ignored all of my intuitions, which I shouldn’t have. Times have changed and some people are crazy. My husband and I have 3 girls. Even though I don’t know which route God will send their husbands, I definitely do not want them thinking they will meet someone like their father online. Online scams and Internet dating scams have increased. On the other hand, I believe you can create a safe environment for internet dating. My tips in the link should help you if you meet someone online and are interested in meeting them in person.
How I met your father
As kids grow older they start asking questions. They always want to know how you met their father/mother. I guess every girl LoVes a good LoVe story. Honestly, I never wanted to tell my children how I we met but I can’t keep it from them forever. My husband and I decided it was time to let my oldest know a little more information about us. She only knew we met at a gas station but not what led up to the meet. In shock her mouth fell to the floor, as if I dropped the biggest bomb. And of course, she had more questions, so I welcomed them and told her the dangers of what I did as well.
Did you meet your mate in a crazy place and knew it was God? If so, share where… I LoVe LoVe and hearing Love stories.